
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/9306497.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Yuri!!!_on_Ice_(Anime)
  Relationship:
      Katsuki_Yuuri/Yuri_Plisetsky
  Character:
      Katsuki_Yuuri, Yuri_Plisetsky
  Additional Tags:
      My_First_Fanfic, Be_gentle, Porn_with_Feelings, Oral_Sex, Katsuki_Yuuri-
      typical_Anxiety, Panic_Attacks, I'm_Bad_At_Tagging, I'm_Sorry, Happy
      Ending, Language_Kink, Age_Difference, Enthusiastic_Consent, Begging,
      Tickling, I_Will_Go_Down_With_This_Ship, Angst, Fluff, Fluff_and_Angst,
      POV_Katsuki_Yuuri
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-01-13 Words: 5908
****** Don't Hide ******
by kafrickinboom
Summary
     Yuuri threw his hand out, slapping the emergency stop. Yurio looked
     up sharply, pink tinging his cheeks.
     “What the hell are you doing?” he asked angrily.
     Yuuri had no idea what the hell he was doing. He ignored the ring of
     the elevator’s emergency phone and he ignored Yurio’s voice speaking
     to the operator, too focused on his internal struggle. The only thing
     running through his mind was I don't want to let him go, which made
     absolutely no sense. It's not as if this was the last time he'd see
     his Yurio. He'd see him the next day to compete.
     Wait, my Yurio?
Notes
     So this is my first fic ever. I wrote this in one fell swoop, and I
     have to say I'm pretty proud of my little fic. I hope you guys like
     it too hah!
     Mind the tags if you can't get into underage (Yuri is his canonical
     15-year-old self)!
See the end of the work for more notes
Yuuri threw his hand out, slapping the emergency stop. Yurio looked up sharply,
pink tinging his cheeks.
“What the hell are you doing?” he asked angrily.
Yuuri had no idea what the hell he was doing. He ignored the ring of the
elevator’s emergency phone and he ignored Yurio’s voice speaking to the
operator, too focused on his internal struggle. The only thing running through
his mind was  I don't want to let him go,  which made absolutely no sense. It's
not as if this was the last time he'd see his Yurio. He'd see him the next day
to compete.
Wait,  my  Yurio?  If only the Russian tiger could hear his thoughts right
then. He could only imagine the wrath aimed at him. Yuuri had always liked it
though. He liked when Yurio’s eyes filled with fire and his voice sounded
rough. He liked the unchecked fury. He liked the dichotomy of someone so
beautiful and fair being so intense and aggressive. It never failed to send a
bolt through him seeing those green eyes flash up at him.
The only real problem Yuuri had was Yurio’s age. Yuuri may have arguably been
the world's biggest virgin, but he wasn't inept at recognizing his own signs of
attraction. No, the issues lied in the fact that Yurio was eight years younger
than himself and the disconcerting rush that came every time a flush hit those
youthful cheeks.
Yuuri looked back into Yurio’s eyes, absently licking his lips. He didn't fail
to notice those eyes darting to his mouth though. With a small, nervous smile,
Yuuri leaned into Yurio’s space.
“I-I've been thinking a lot about you, Yurio. It's been a while since I saw you
last and...” He trailed off, biting his lip. Why was he telling Yurio this? Did
he really think his words would be well received? Shaking his head and sighing
at himself, he decided to drop it. “Forget it, Yurio.” He reached up to push
just about any button to release the elevator from emergency mode when his hand
was caught in a tight grip. Startled, he looked up to see Yurio’s eyes averted,
expression unreadable.
“Finish your sentence, Katsudon.”
“I… I just...missed you, Yurio.” Fair eyebrows raised in response, and Yuuri
could practically feel his skin burning from the flush on his own face.
“You missed me? Why? It's not as if we're friends.” Yurio looked away quickly
with what seemed to be a faint grimace. Had Yuuri just seen...regret coloring
that expression? Emboldened, he inched closer.
“I actually, uhm… I'd really like to change that. A lot, in fact. Uhm...”
Another unreadable face snapped to his, and Yuuri panicked. Maybe he was
reading things wrong. As much as he enjoyed seeing Yurio’s anger, he didn't
feel like getting kicked in the face again, especially the night before he
could show Yurio his evolved Eros. “O-or not! I'm just tired from traveling! Ha
ha! Don't-don't listen to me. Let me just… I shouldn't have stopped us. I'm
sorry.”
Again his hand was stopped, but when he looked up, he was met with a familiar
frustrated glare.
“What the hell is up with you, Katsudon? I haven't seen you act this weird
since watching you fawn over Viktor before the Onsen.” Yuuri veritably gaped at
Yurio’s red face.
“Fawn over Viktor?”
Yurio looked as if he'd eaten something particularly bitter. “You know...the
red face and the stuttering and the disgusting heart eyes whenever he was
around.” He rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. “It was gross and I don't get why
you're being weird now. Are you going up to see him now?” he said a little
meanly. “Where even is Viktor?”
“I don't know. Probably out with Chris or something,” he said dismissively. He
honestly couldn’t understand how blind this gorgeous young man in front of him
could be. Yurio’s face melted into something that could only be described as
‘baffled.’
“Then what…?”
Shaking his head, Yuuri laughed nervously. “Yurio...have you ever noticed that
all of those things you said - the heart eyes, th-the stuttering, whatever -
all of that happened when you were around? That maybe you were the reason
for...for all of that?”
Watching Yurio’s face slacken in realization had to be one of the most
beautiful things Yuuri had ever seen. Jerking his head up so quickly knocked
that flaxen hair he hid behind almost completely out of the way. Those usually
angry eyes rounded and so,  so  green that you could get lost in them. The pink
raising on those high cheekbones. That mouth that was usually tense or pursed
softened so that he could see a bit of those perfect teeth behind them. Yuuri’s
breath left him all at once as he realized how badly he wanted to bite that
plush bottom lip.
Licking his lips, he watched as Yurio’s eyes fell to watching his tongue yet
again. Emboldened, Yuuri eased into Yurio’s space, backing him up against the
wall of the elevator, reveling in the gasp escaping the younger man's mouth.
Slowly raising a shaky hand, Yuuri stroked Yurio’s cheeks, brushing the hair
further back to get a better look at the proclaimed ‘Russian Fairy.’
“Beautiful,” he breathed out, watching Yurio’s eyes for any sign that he was
overstepping any boundaries. Trailing his thumb over that biteable mouth, he
softly asked, “Is this okay, Yuri?”
Hearing his given name must have tripped some sort of switch because suddenly
he was being shoved back out of Yuri’s face. He watched, a bit stung, as Yurio,
scowling, practically crushed the button to his floor, releasing the elevator
from its emergency stop. Yurio’s shoulders were hunched up around his ears and
he stood close to the doors, keeping his back to Yuuri who felt a lump rising
to his throat, choking him.
I'm so fucking stupid. What is wrong with me? Why am I even surprised? I have
absolutely no  right  to be surprised. Yurio never gave any indication that he
might feel the same way as I do. Why would he? He's beautiful and passionate
and fierce and talent incarnate and I'm...I'm…  Yuuri could feel his breathing
become heavier as he tried to crush down the rising tightness in his chest. He
fought with everything he had to keep the tears at bay though a couple slipped
past despite his best efforts. Looking at Yurio’s back, he slowly retreated to
the back of the elevator so he wouldn't come off as a burden.  I've already
made him uncomfortable. I don't need to make it any worse by trying to remain
close to him.
Slipping his eyes closed, Yuuri focused on redoubling his efforts to keep from
crying. He wrapped his arms around himself to hold himself together. Once he
was back at his own room, all bets were off, but he refused to possibly put any
guilt on Yurio’s shoulders. It wasn't the blonde’s fault that Yuuri clearly
wasn’t what he wanted.
After what felt like an eternity, he heard the ding and the opening of doors,
indicating they had reached Yurio’s floor. Thank heavens he only had to ride
the elevator up one floor to get to his room. He waited for the telltale swish
of Yurio’s coat, but didn't hear anything else but the closing of the doors
again.
Looking up, confused, he saw Yurio still standing at the doors, back tense.
“Yurio-” Yuuri frowned at the cracking of his own voice and cleared his throat
gently, intending to try again. “Yur-”
“Shut up. Just. Shut. Up.” Yurio sounded angry as per usual, but it wasn't the
irate tone Yuuri was used to. The Russian sounded almost...vexed? Silently,
Yurio reached up and calmly pushed the button to the next floor.
Yuuri’s eyes widened as he tried to shove any budding hope out of his mind. In
no time at all, they reached his floor. Again the elevator chimed and as the
doors opened, Yuuri’s wrist was held fast for a third time in a crushing grip,
and suddenly he was being forcefully tugged out of the lift.
“Which room is yours?” The question was thrown back at Yuuri, who dazedly
stumbled over the number in response.
Once at the door, Yuuri paused. Apparently, taking a breath of consideration
was a breath too long because he was swiftly shoved to the side, the card
removed from his hand, door swinging open. Again he was being pulled in -  my
wrist is going to bruise -  and shoved against the back of the door, a hand
gripped tight into his shirt. Yuuri had to cross his eyes to see Yurio’s face
so close to his own.
“Did you mean it?” Yurio was scanning his face, and Yuuri was honestly taken
aback by how intense the gaze was. He'd seen the young man’s face fitted to a
scowl, to deep concentration, to smug victory, to rage, to indignation but he'd
never been the focus of such scrutiny.
“Yurio, I…”
“Answer the question, Katsudon. Did you mean it?” This time, it sounded as if
the question was laced with desperation.
Understanding slapped Yuuri in the face as he looked into those wide,
viridescent eyes, causing his own to soften in fondness. Yurio had to be
feeling at least a bit of what Yuuri was. Tilting his forehead against the
blonde’s, he felt a grin tugging on the corners of his lips. “I meant it.
Viktor wasn't even in my line of sight with you around.”
A soft noise escaped Yurio’s lips a moment before Yuuri tilted further, meeting
them with his own. It felt as if the air was sucked from his lungs. The
culmination of his dreams and imagination couldn't have prepared him for the
softness of Yurio’s lips dragging against his own, the sweetest gasps being
pulled to the surface and whimpers between swipes of tongue and teeth.
Yuuri allowed himself to be swept into the feeling, reaching up to sink his
fingers into the soft locks of Yurio’s hair. A slight snag was enough for the
younger man’s hips to jerk into his own. Yuuri tore back from the kiss, moan
ripped from him at the feeling of a hard cock rubbing against his own through
multiple layers of clothing, bringing it from interested to needy in the span
of a single filthy grind.
Setting his teeth against a pale earlobe, he collected himself enough to ask,
“what do you want, Yuri?”
A broken ‘ everything’  was all it took for Yuuri’s verbal floodgates to open.
“I want whatever you're willing to give me. I want to feel your perfect skin
against mine. I want to dig my fingers into you, leaving marks for you to feel
for days. I want your teeth to mark me up in return.” Yuuri looked up to see
the blonde looking fucking  wrecked  and they hadn't even done more than some
grinding. It felt as though something primal clawed its way to the forefront.
Pulling back on that pale hair, he met Yurio’s eyes, growling, “I want to taste
you.”
Fuck, Yurio  keened.  Eyes fluttered for a moment before hardening, lax mouth
tugged into a smirk. He removed Yuuri’s hands from that blonde hair and turned
to move further into the room. He backed up, kicking his shoes off.  Eyes
tinged with nerves, he dragged the zipper down his jacket, and biting his lip,
pulled it off and threw it to the side. He backed up closer to the bed,
beckoning. “Well, Katsudon? What are you waiting for? Come  t-taste  me.”
The older man honed in on that little stutter. Hearing that nervous, little
trip on his words did nothing but make Yuuri want him more. He kicked his shoes
off and set aside his glasses before prowling after Yurio and watched as those
young eyes flashed with heat. God, he loved how much he could affect the
younger man. Those eyes were almost completely swallowed by black, nothing but
a ring of vibrant green. The sweetest of gasps pulled from the teen as Yuuri
pushed Yurio onto the bed, straddling thinner hips and digging his fingers back
into that magnificent hair.
Yurio groaned, gripping the older man's hips, chuckling like the little shit
that he is. “You really seem to like my hair, Katsudon.”
Yuuri laughed breathlessly. “You  have  seen yourself, haven't you, Yurio?”
The younger man gave an uncharacteristically shy smile, before looking off into
the middle distance. Yuuri could tell he was trying to close off the softer
side of himself, to hide behind his walls again.  Well, that certainly won't
do.  With both hands, Yuuri gently tilted the younger man's head up to meet his
eyes. He leaned down and tried to pour all of his feelings through the softest,
most intense kiss Yuuri had ever experienced. Pulling back, he buried his face
in the teen’s neck. “Please don't hide from me, Yuri.”
He felt the blonde tense beneath him for a moment and a harsh swallow before
slowly going lax under Yuuri. He couldn't quite hold back the rush of relieved
breath he'd been holding. Sitting back up, he smiled at the wide, apprehensive,
vulnerable  eyes peering at him.
God, I could do this forever.  He thought, finally skimming his hands up
Yurio’s chest and pushing the shirt up along with it. Yuuri marvelled at the
muscle definition under the thin layer of baby fat. He watched the smaller
boy's ribs contract as he dragged the back of his nails over nipples, drawing a
shudder and tightened fingers at his hips. He made Yurio release him to pull
the shirt off, licking his lips at the expanse of pale, perfect skin before
him.
“Y-you too. Yours too.” Yurio demanded with a faint shake. Yuuri smothered a
smirk, recognizing the depth of how nervous Yurio was. Still, he made a show of
sliding his own jacket off him shoulders in short order, drawing the shirt off
while rocking his hips down onto the ever-present hardness beneath him. He felt
soft hands on his stomach and he couldn’t control the odd mix of moaning and
laughter, gripping Yurio’s wrists and pressing his hands in harder.
“I'm far too ticklish for such soft touches,” he said. His smile slipped to
something akin to horror as he watched Yurio’s eyes light up in mischief. “Oh
no. Noooo, no, no!” He felt those gentle fingers dig into his sides and shouted
in surprise, trying to pull away to no avail. The teen below him was much
stronger than he looked, wrapping an arm around him and flipping them until he
was between Yuuri’s legs, pinning him, fingers honing in on all of his most
ticklish places. Yuuri  shrieked,  squirming and thrashing, begging for
reprieve. After what felt like far too long, Yurio sat back on his haunches
beaming down at him. Yuuri was struck by the sight of the open smile.  If a
little tickle-torture is all it takes to see this, it's already more than worth
it.
Overwhelmed, Yuuri wrapped a hand around the back of the younger man's neck,
pulling down to kiss him deeply. He snaked his other hand down and grabbed a
handful of Yurio’s flawless ass. Groaning, the blonde braced himself above
Yuuri, hesitantly running his other hand down to drag over the older man's
clothed cock. Unable to keep himself still, Yuuri jerked up, pushing himself
harder into the teen’s hand. It must have been the right thing to do because
suddenly, Yurio was ripping himself back, fumbling with Yuuri's fly.
Gently sneaking his hands over the smaller man’s, he deftly popped it and put
his hands back in that lustrous hair. He saw more than heard Yurio gulp as he
pulled the pants and underwear off in one go. Closing his eyes and almost
chewing his bottom lip raw, the older man tried to stifle the moan from feeling
his length slap against his stomach. His eyes flew back open as he felt a soft
finger tugging at the reddened lip.
“You asked me not to hide. Now I'm asking you the same.” Yurio looked rather
embarrassed to ask, but it only served to further melt Yuuri.
“Yeah. Yeah, okay, I can do that.” The older man trailed his hands down to
return the favor, pausing and catching those greens eyes, asking for
permission. He received a small, shaky smile and a nod, which was more than
good enough. Though Yuuri was nervous as well, he had a much easier time
slipping the pants down over that glorious, ivory ass. After a little finesse
and finagling, Yurio kicked his jeans and underwear onto the floor and settled
back into the V of the other man's legs. They both groaned at the contact,
hands exploring the stretch of each other's skin.
Yuuri felt like this had to have been the best thing he'd felt in his life.
Remembering his earlier declarations, he wrapped his legs around the teen,
twisting until he was once more on top. He worked kisses and bites in turn from
the younger man’s lips, down his neck, settling in between his legs. Yuuri
couldn't help giving a sharp nip to Yurio’s stomach, just above the juncture of
cock and thigh. The older man peered up at the blonde through his lashes,
watching as his hips jerked with every pass of teeth and tongue, as he tilted
his head back with a broken moan, the closer the older man got to where he was
most wanted. Yuuri wanted to hear Yurio  beg.  Trailing the backs of his nails
up the backs of the younger man's thighs, Yuuri pushed them apart and promptly
started in on marking those inner thighs just as he'd promised. A startled
shout from Yurio drew his attention. His eyes were met with heat and
desperation that almost bowled him over. Raising his brows at the boy, Yuuri
set his teeth on the newly made mark and bit down, smiling at the resulting
moan.
Groaning in warring desire and frustration, Yurio jerked his hips a bit into
Yuuri’s face, trying to communicate what he needed. The older man just smiled
innocently, moving on to the other thigh to create a twin mark, but not before
huskily ordering, “use your words, Yuri.”
Choking on a low groan, the blonde whispered a broken, “ please.”
Yuuri couldn't help but dig his nails in a bit deeper, and pulled back. “I
didn't quite hear that, love.”
A jolt seemed to have run through Yurio. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped a
bit, breath whooshing from him, gripping the sheets beneath him tighter.
“I…fuck it. I-I want your mouth on me, Y-Yuuri...пожалуйста.”
Fuck , Yuuri thought. Just when he thought the boy beneath him couldn't do
anything more to turn him on more than he had already, he begged him in Russian
and  used Yuuri’s given name?  This boy is going to kill me.  The older man
enthusiastically complied, wrapping his mouth around the head of Yurio’s
leaking cock, earning a garbled shout of more Russian. Groaning low, Yuuri set
to slide the teenager's cock further into his mouth, cataloguing every new
flavor he'd never tasted before. He figured he'd like this based on the amount
of times he's used this exact mental scenario to get himself off in the past,
but it was... sugoi na … He honestly wasn't prepared for how much he  loved
it.
He slipped his lips over his teeth and sucked hard as he lowered his mouth
further onto his Yurio. Suddenly, there were hands in his hair and a cock
shoved deep in his throat. Immediately, the hands left his hair as he choked,
tears springing to his eyes. He quickly pulled off, coughing and trying to
catch his breath.
“Прости, прости, Katsudon.” Yuuri looked up to see Yurio covering his panting
face with both hands, knees trying to draw up and together.
“Hey, it's okay, Yuri. It's...is this your first time?”
Yuuri wasn't quite sure he'd ever seen that shade of red, in nature or
otherwise, as the fair man below him scowled down at him before looking off to
the side, nodding.
Biting back a smile at how ridiculously  cute  his Yurio was, Yuuri shrugged.
“Well that makes two of us, I guess.” Wide eyes met his fond ones, giving that
vaguely uncomfortable searching look. Yurio must have found what he was looking
for because he slowly relaxed again, giving another hesitant, shy smile. Yuuri
smiled back, feeling his heart flip flop at the warmth in that gaze. Clearing
his throat again, he asked, “can I, uhm… Can I taste you again?”
Yurio bit his lip, spreading his legs eagerly. “ Please.”
Yuuri set to work, sucking the blonde’s cock back in his mouth, keeping one
hand pressed to the his stomach and the other gently squeezing the base. God,
Yuuri  really  loved this. The soft skin of his Yurio’s length pushing against
his soft palate. The whimpers and moaning and occasional loud cry after a
particularly hard suck. Looking up to see those jade eyes squeezing shut and
flying back open in turn as if he didn't know if he wanted to watch or couldn't
bear to. The taste of precome sliding to the back of his mouth, forcing him to
swallow or to make an even bigger mess of them than he already was. The power
he had by pleasuring the boy he hadn't been able to keep his mind off of since
the night of his epic failure at the previous GPF.
Eventually, Yuuri’s jaw started to feel the twinge of exertion. He might have
fantastic stamina, but it wasn't like his jaw had much practice for this kind
of activity. Thankfully (or maybe unfortunately - Yuuri wasn't sure), the
younger man's moans started climbing in pitch, growing sharper more desperate.
“Yuu- Yuuri, блять… I'm gonna come!” He shoved a hand into the older man's
hair, gripping tight but not pulling him in, not pushing either, giving Yuuri
the choice.
Hearing Yurio cry out so desperately was all the motivation he needed to take
as much of the teen’s length as he could, swallowing as if he couldn't get
enough ( he couldn't).  Two harsh, high-pitched cries later, Yurio was coming.
Back arched slightly, he ground his heels into the bed and his cock into
Yuuri’s mouth as much as was allowed.
Yuuri didn't think he'd ever been so fucking turned on in his 23 years of life.
He had to swallow a few times to take as much as he could and he still couldn't
quite manage it all. He choked a bit, pulling back, allowing the last dribble
of come to paint his lips. Yurio looked absolutely demolished, breath heaving
as his spent cock lay against his thigh. Yuuri waited until the blonde was
looking at him to lick the remains of his spend off his mouth.
Weakly mewling something in Russian, he pulled the older man up to lay beside
him. He slid his hand over Yuuri’s length, sluggishly dragging his lips over
the other's. Looking up at him beneath pale lashes, he asked, “is this alright?
I really want to taste you too, but I don't think I can do much more than this
right now. Maybe...maybe later.”
Yuuri had felt that he was already on a hair trigger, but knowing his Yurio
wanted him like that too - and that just maybe this wasn't going to end up
being a one-time thing liked he'd expected - was enough to send him over the
edge, painting their stomachs with his come. He realized afterward that he’d
been whimpering into the younger man’s mouth between gasps of Yurio's name.
The both of them thoroughly spent, they gravitated toward one another, settling
deeper into the bed. Yuuri felt like he was flying higher than he thought
possible. He hoped Yurio felt the same.
“Ugh, we should probably get cleaned up,” Yurio grumbled, sitting up. Yuuri
disagreed, but reluctantly followed suit, picking up the first shirt he felt
from the floor to wipe them up before tossing it to the bathroom where he'd
clean it better later. Looking back, the blonde looked royally unimpressed.
“That was my shirt, asshole.”
Whoops. Well, there’s the Yurio I know and love.Yuuri looked sheepish before
suggesting that he could give his shirt to Yurio. To borrow! Not, you
know...not because he wanted to maybe see Yurio in his clothes or anything.
Wait, “love?!”He felt his eyes widen as the rest of his expression blanked,
palms beginning to sweat. Shit. Act normal.
The blonde was already giving him that searching look again, a faint moue set
on his lips. The air between them felt tense. Yuuri pulled a pair of sweatpants
on and offered another to Yurio, who refused. Yuuri tried to swallow past the
growing lump in his throat.
“So-”
“What-”
They both stopped and looked at each other. Yuuri felt the tug of melancholy
that came with just knowingthat this was, indeed, going to be a one-time thing,
quite the opposite of what he wanted. There's no chance of another outcome.
Just look at him. He looks as if he's trying to find something nice - or maybe
just not mean - to say to let me down gently. Fuck, I'm an idiot. Yuuri’s eyes
dropped to the floor. He took a few deep, steadying breaths before meeting
Yurio’s eyes.
“So this, ah… This was fun!” Nervous laughter bubbled up as he felt the tears
trying to crawl to his eyes. “I'm, uh, I'm sorry about your shirt. I can- I can
clean it or have it cleaned or something and give it back.” He wrung his hands
together, looking everywhere but Yurio’s face. “I understand if this makes
things weird. I hope not, but you know… I don't expect you to return any
feelings or anyth-”
“Feelings?” A small voice broke through the path of Yuuri’s foot to his mouth.
“You said nothing of feelings.”
His eyes snapped up to meet Yurio’s eyes, a strange mix of anger, despair and
hope dancing in them. Yuuri was confused. Hadn't they gone over this?
“Yurio, I-I told you earlier-”
“You told me you wanted me.” Yurio’s voice hardened. “That you wanted me more
than Viktor, not that you have...have feelings for me!”
“Yes, I want you because I lo-”  Shit.  Yurio’s eyes narrowed back at him .  “I
have feelings for you! Am I really that hard to read? I don't know how to read
you right now… Are you angry?”
“Yes! No! I-I don't know. I don't like talking about...feelings. They're a
distraction. I can't get distracted.” His eyes flashed angrily, stalking closer
to Yuuri. “Was that what this was, piggy? Were you trying to get in my head?”
Stumbling back as if he'd been struck, Yuuri cried, “No! How could you even ask
me that?” He knew Yurio only called him ‘piggy’ when he wanted to be
particularly cruel, but even knowing that he didn't really mean it didn't make
it hurt any less. He felt the ever-familiar itch of unshed tears as he looked
back at the young man who had just shared his first sexual experience, the
first person to grab more than his passive admiration. He looked away again, to
the floor, unable to shake the sting of the accusation. Wearily, he said, “I
can't...I can't do this. If you really think that of me, maybe I was wrong
about you.” With that, he deflated, pulling back into himself, making himself
as small as possible. Maybe he should just wait for Yurio to grab his things
(excepting the shirt) and leave.
Yuuri missed Yurio’s face blank in shock, blood draining from his face. It was
as if someone had popped the balloon of anger welling up in the younger man's
chest, shriveling with one well placed, pointed statement.
“Katsudon…”
“Just go. We have our short programs tomorrow, and all I want to do is sleep.”
After the roller coaster the night had become, exhaustion was rearing its head.
He turned into the en suite bathroom, leaving Yurio to his own devices, feeling
the need to escape for a bit.
He closed the door behind him and sank to the floor, burying his face in his
hands.  How did something so amazing turn into something so painful?  Running
through the last hour or so in his mind over and over and over, he eventually
heard the door open and shut, signalling Yurio’s exit.
That's all it took to kick start the tears. It felt as though he couldn't stop
now that he'd started.  Why did I do this with him? I knew it wouldn't mean the
same to him. I knew it would end badly. God, I'm so stupid.  Gasping and trying
to catch his breath through the tears, he crossed his arms, digging his fingers
into his sides until it hurt just a bit to act as a tether. He mentally checked
his five senses as he felt the panic and overwhelming despair wash over him. He
would have called someone for help, but for one, his phone was out in the room
and he wasn't quite ready to face the bed yet, and for two, even if he had his
phone, he didn't want to explain to anyone why he was in such a state. He had
to start over a few times because his traitorous brain would include the
lingering phantom press of Yurio’s lips or the texture of his angel fine hair
as a ‘touch’ element or he'd smell the a waft of Yurio’s citrusy soap coming
off his own skin or he'd ‘hear’ those cries as Yurio came in his mouth as his
‘sound’ element, which would snowball his despair back to square one.
Eventually, Yuuri dragged himself up and looked at his reflection, and what a
sight he made. Little bite marks here and there and fading nail marks that he
hadn't even realized were apparently made. Red, puffy eyes and lips from crying
so hard. A flake of white on the side of his cheek that he'd missed while
cleaning up. His hair was in complete disarray. He looked exactly like he'd
expected after the night's events - like he'd had the best, and arguably worst,
night of his life.
Sighing, he decided he'd need a shower. He stepped out to grab his towel and
stopped short.
On the bed sat Yurio dressed in his formerly offered shirt and sweatpants,
elbows on his knees, hands gripping his own hair, looking about as distraught
as Yuuri had not even five minutes ago. It seemed he was so deep in his
thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the older man approaching.
Unsure what else to do, he cleared his throat. “Yurio? What are you still doing
here,” he asked uncertainly.
At the sound if his name, the blonde immediately stood up. Yuuri had barely
gotten his second question out before aggressive lips collided with his own,
knocking him back a couple steps. He made a sound of surprised protest and his
eyebrows flew upward, but Yurio just redoubled his efforts. He broke off long
enough to whisper “please”against Yuuri’s lips before pouring himself into
another kiss. Yuuri melted against the younger man, feeling tears spring to his
eyes again. The desperation in Yurio’s every movement and touch was enough to
make the older man whine.
Eventually, the kiss devolved into hesitant hands running over each other.
Yuuri broke the kiss and the blonde followed, seemingly wanting more. Biting
his lip against a smile that wanted to make an appearance, Yuuri took a half
step back which was enough to snap Yurio out of it.
“I didn't mean what I said,” came out of the teen’s mouth in such a rush that
Yuuri, even with his fluency in English, could hardly understand. “I didn't...I
didn't mean it. I'm just sca-” Yurio broke off and glared into the middle
distance yet again. Yuuri kept silent this time around, letting the boy sort
his own thoughts out. He watched as the fierce scowl eventually melted into
something akin to regret or shame. Yurio tried again, working his way through
it stiltedly. “I was, ah,  am  scared. This whole time, I thought you had,” he
paused to scowl in discomfort, “ feelings  for Viktor, and here...they're
apparently aimed at me, and I don't understand it.” His face morphed to pure
confusion. “You should  hate  me, Katsudon. The first time we met, I yelled at
you for being weak. I'm not… I'm not a kind person and I'm still, and it pains
me to say this, young. What could you possibly want from me than to…” A sigh.
“To get in my head so that you could beat me for-for Viktor...?” He trailed
off, uncharacteristically small in that moment.
Yuuri sometimes forgets that Yurio is only 15 ( “almost 16!”  he can hear the
boy in question indignantly spit in his head). Even when he remembers, he
forgets that beneath the powerful armor of anger, venom and confidence, there's
a world of a person he doesn't quite know. There are soft spaces between the
plates that Yurio doesn't let anyone see. For all the strength Yurio holds at a
constant, there's a large, hidden part of him that’s still just a teenage boy,
insecure, second-guessing himself and unsure about others’ motives.
Since it seemed he wouldn't be getting that shower tonight, he tiredly rubbed
at his face, considering his response. He gently tugged at Yurio’s hand,
leading him to lay with Yuuri on the bed.
Heaving a great sigh, he looked into Yurio’s wary eyes, a weary smile edging
his lips. He placed his hand on the blonde’s cheek to underline the need to pay
attention to what Yuuri’s saying.
“I have never, nor will I ever, hate you. In all honesty, you've been invading
my thoughts since the night you first called me a moron.” Yurio looks baffled
as the older man continues. “I don't want anything  from  you. I just
want...you. I love your fire and your refusal to conform and your will for hard
work and, yeah, I know you're not exactly a  kind  person, but you're
intelligent and intense and you lit a fire in me like you wouldn't believe.
You're the reason I skate my Eros so well. Hell, you're the reason I'm skating
this season to begin with. Viktor is a pretty good coach, but you push me to be
greater just by you being you. The only thing I could possibly want  from  you
is to never go easy on me. As much as I love you, you're still my competition.”
He ends with a teasing smirk that fades to confusion as he watches a series of
emotion pass over Yurio’s face, changing too quickly to catch them all. “What
is it?”
“You-you love me?”
Yuuri’s eyes fly wide as he mentally replays what he said.  S h i t.  Pursing
his lips, he decides,  fuck it, I've come this far.  “Y-yes. Yes, I do.” He
wonders how much of his nerves are shining through as he raises his chin,
trying his best to feel confident.
Something like wonder graces his Yurio’s face for a moment before settling into
a smug expression. “I'm so going to kick your ass tomorrow.”
End Notes
     So, I left this kind of vague. I'm not sure if I'll write a sequel or
     not. I'm on the fence about it, so I guess I'll wait to see what kind
     of response I get to tip me one way or the other.
     For those curious, I definitely Googled these, so I could be wrong,
     but here's the little bits of Russian/Japanese:
     пожалуйста - please
     sugoi na - wow
     прости - sorry
     блять - fuck (THANK YOU, LECKEN)
     Come join me on tumblr to gush over our rarepair OTPs! (I ship pretty
     much all of them)
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